How fitting that I would watch Kramer vs. Kramer the day that my girlfriend and I broke up. Luckily, we parted ways on relatively good terms. We both saw it coming and agreed it would be for the best, no shouting or yelling or blaming, just reasonable (though melancholy) conversation. I guess that I'm lucky in that regard as I'd imagine that for most people breaking up is a messy process. Usually at the end, there is a lot of fighting and yelling and just plain spitefulness. We had the rare other kind of break-up. It's not that we didn't care for each other anymore, we just realized we weren't meant for each other.
In Kramer vs. Kramer, Ted (Dustin Hoffman) comes home one day after work to find his wife Joanna (Meryl Streep) waiting for him at the door, nothing unusual there, except that she's got her bags packed and a big speech prepared. She is leaving him. You don't believe it when you first hear it. Ted thinks Joanna is joking. At first, I thought my girlfriend was joking. Then you see the serious expression on her face, the sadness in her eyes and you know she's given it a lot of thought. Ted goes from being slightly annoyed to angry, then to desperate and pleading for Joanna not to go. That wasn't quite how my own conversation went but it could just as easily have.
The main story of the film, however, really isn't about the divorce, but the devastating effects it has on all the people involved, especially on their young son Billy who obviously takes it hard. He doesn't understand why his mom left and clearly he would prefer her over Ted, but he doesn't really realize that she left both of them.
I like how the film sort of flips things around in that it is Ted that is left to be the single parent when that is commonly a "woman's thing". But as Ted points out, why is it automatically assumed that women are better parents than men? Why can't men be just as caring or loving? Given the tone of the film, it is very easy to side with Ted here, except that it isn't so cut and dry. In the beginning of the film, it is evident that Ted wasn't really much of a father. Walking Billy to school, he has to ask him what grade he is in and in a casual conversation, he seems genuinely surprised that Billy likes Boston, despite them living in New York. (Joanna is from Boston.)
The story revolves around the growing relationship between Ted and Billy, so it is easy to sympathize with Ted. He is the protagonist. He is trying the best, all by himself, to take care of his son and he seems to be doing a damn good job at it despite some setbacks. But he's only been doing it for a year and a half, Joanna was Billy's full time mother for over five. She is painted in the film as kind of a cold bitch, but if there was a prequel to Kramer vs. Kramer told from her perspective during the marriage, it would be Ted who is the cold monster. There are no good guys or bad guys in these situations. Everybody is a little to blame, but nobody wants to admit it. The only truly good side is the son caught in the middle.
The film is obviously touching, even if a bit manipulative. The relationship between father and son are endearing and the central plot to the story, but the ending is a little too convenient for reality. Like I mentioned before, it seems like Joanna is the villain here but what else is there to expect when the story is told completely from Ted's side?
Breaking up hasn't fully registered with me yet. I haven't had much time to think about it. I'm sure it will hit me eventually and when it does I'm sure I'll be bummed for a while. This makes me even more glad I have this movie watching challenge going to keep me occupied. I was going to end it with some tie-in to the movie, but the parallel is so obvious I don't even know what to write and I'm literally falling asleep at the computer! (I played poker all night and basically had my worst session ever. Just not my lucky day, huh?) I might come back to edit this post...
Grade: B+
Sidenote: I kind of cringed and laughed when they wake up in the morning to use the toilet and you don't hear the toilet flush or the sink turn on. Gross. Then in a continuous shot out of the bathroom they walk into the kitchen and handle their food, so you know there was no period in time where they could have washed their hands. Double gross.
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