Day 9 - Fast Five

Fast Five (2011) directed by Justin Lin

What could they possibly do in the fifth installment that we haven't already seen? Trick question. They don't need to do anything different at all. People know what they're getting when they enter a Fast and the Furious film and that's fast cars, hot women, ridiculous stunts, big explosions and some modicum of plot to hold it all together. In fact, fans demand it. The only thing that really needs to change is a new locale to tell the story in and raising the bar for high-speed mayhem.

Fast Five begins where 2009's Fast and Furious leaves off, with Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) freeing Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) from a prison bus in a daring escape. Fast forward to Rio de Janeiro where Brian and Mia, living on the run, go to meet up with Dom. They attempt to pull a heist stealing cars from a moving train where things go awry when the crew they are with pull a double cross. Our heroes realize that the crew was not after the cars at all but something else belonging to a crime lord named Reyes and he wants it back. Uh oh. Didn't they already take down a boss in the last movie? To make matters worse, the FBI sends in their top dog, a no nonsense action super-cop Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) to capture Dom and Brian. They come up with the solution to disappear forever, but in order to do so they must pull one last job.

This is where the movie takes a turn for the bizarre where it goes from Fast and the Furious to Oceans 11 and The Italian Job. They do the standard get a team together routine bringing in familiar faces from the franchise tying the movies together and what was once a tight knit story turns into an ensemble cast heist movie. Since when was the fast cars, hot babes, and Vin Disel flexing his muscles not enough?

So now that the plot is out of the way, we can finally talk about what really matters, THE STUNTS. Interestingly enough, there is basically no racing in this movie at all. Off the top of my head, there is just one and it's a pretty short tame one between members of the team. In the only other opportunity we don't even see the race where Dom wins a car. Much of the action takes place out of the cars including a chase scene through the favelas and a brutal all-out fight between Vin Disel and The Rock. (I'm pretty sure the earthquake in Hati was caused by them punching each other.) They saved all the high speed hijinks for the heist, which is pretty spectacular. The amount of chaos and destruction in the final 15 minutes alone probably equals the amount of damage done in the entire series combined. And what glorious fun it is to see two cars dragging a gigantic vault through the streets of Rio destroying everything in its way. While the plot may leave something to be desired, you don't go into Fast Five to watch Vin Disel do Shakespeare, you go into it to watch him tear shit up. And he does. Big time.

Grade: B-

Side notes:
- Is there a stiffer actor in the world than Paul Walker? Maybe Keanu Reeves...
- Actually, Vin Disel might be in that category too...
- Dwayne Johnson, as charismatic as he is, is a one trick pony in this one and has several unintentionally hilarious lines that had the theater cracking up because of how serious he is in his role.
- Why do they keep on insisting to hijack moving vehicles in this franchise? Do they just want to make their jobs as difficult as possible?

- In case you are wondering how Han is in Fast and Furious and Fast Five despite dying in Tokyo Drift, Tokyo Drift is clearly meant to be after Fast and Furious. However, in the end of Han's cameo in Fast and Furious when Dom disbands his team, he says he's going to Tokyo, unless he doesn't go to Tokyo until after Fast Five... But given what transpires in Fast Five, Han's life/demeanor should be different in Tokyo Drift...

- I really want to go to Rio de Janeiro. It looks like such an amazing and beautiful city. Even the favelas look interesting. You'd never say that about an American ghetto. I don't think it's a coincidence that both Rio and Fast Five look so good.

- They are in the talks for part six of the series. I fully expect them to drive a car off a plane mid-air across the Grand Canyon landing safely on the other side.