Day 28 - Priest

Priest (2011) directed by Scott Stewart

Okay, I understand why this film got universally slammed by critics, but it really isn't that bad. While lacking anything remotely noteworthy, at least Priest moves along briskly without embarrassing itself too badly, keeping you mildly interested throughout. And after its crisp 87 minute run time, you shrug it off and be done with it, feeling neither repulsed or elated having seen it. (I knew this movie was in trouble when I saw the previews which looked like it was going for something epic and then saw that the runtime would only be 87 minutes, which typically means they shot a bunch of garbage they had to cut out and the story and characters are going to be paper thin, which they are.)

Priest is set in a post-apoptolytic word after a centuries long war between humans and vampires. Most of the human population lives within walled cities run by the totalitarian church. "To go against the church is to go against God" is repeated over and over throughout the movie. With the war over and the vampire menace contained, the highly trained super warriors, priests, are no longer needed in this new future and disbanded by the church, leading lonely lives having difficulty integrating into society. This is all explained with a two minute animation sequence that sets up the rest of the story.

On the outskirts of these walled cities are outposts and towns in a dusty western landscape, where a a pack of vampires attack a family and take their daughter, the priest's (Paul Bettany) niece. The position of the church is that there is no vampire menace and forbids the priest to go outside the city to search for her and to disobey these orders is to break his vow. After all, "to go against the church is to go against God." Catchy the first time they say it, but you get the point after like the seventh time in the first twelve minutes of the movie. Naturally, he looks for her. What results is a sci-fi/horror/western/action/adventure movie to find the girl and uncover the mystery of these new wave of vampires.

From the previews, it appeared that The Priest's main appeal would be its visual style, which, while grandiose, delivers nothing really spectacular or original. The dark and grimy futuristic cities are straight out of Blade Runner, but not as cool. The dusty and barren wasteland is exactly that. The vampires are gross and slimy, but clearly CGI creatures there to get sliced and diced. Half of the movie is set in dark and dungy spaces without much else going on. As much as I love The Matrix, bullet time has ruined the action movie genre, not because it isn't cool, but because its been the crux of lazy action choreographers for far too long. When the bullet time is the only appealing part of an action sequence, it probably needs more work, especially since we've seen it like a bazillion times the past decade. But overall, the film looks above average, which one would hope from a former visual effects guy (Scott Stewart) as the director, but nothing spectacular.

While the story keeps moving forward at a nice pace, it seems to have forgotten to take the character development and dialogue with it. Paul Bettany is dead serious and humorless without much to say. He is accompanied by fellow priest, or priestess, Maggie Q, who also never smiles, though does share some tender insight in like, one scene where I guess they needed to give some character to the characters. The sheriff, who I guess you could call Paul Bettany's sidekick in the movie is played by Cam Gigandet. He is awful and a walking talking cliche, simple as that. There are also some ungodly (pun intended) lines of dialogue that are real eye rollers.

All that said, nothing is absolutely horrible as others may suggest and put all together, The Priest manages to limp its way home to be a watchable, albeit forgettable, time killer you wouldn't have minded watching, unless there was something better of course. Of course I have an affinity towards these type of movies. Think of it as a better Judge Dredd, and come on, who cares enough or feels so indignant as to actually regret watching that movie? If you just look at it as a mindless summer movie, you get what you want out of it and I'm not ashamed to admit I enjoyed it. Tack this one up as a guilty pleasure.

Grade: C


- As an Asian, I must of course report anything racist I see. There is a scene where an Asian character goes all crazy with his kung fu only to get taken out with one simple blow. Standard.